Everywhere I pointed the light I would see rotten, decrepit zombies shambling out of the bush around the riverbank. Lesson learned!
I received the following account:
"Hey, Lon. You may find this interesting. I drove up the east coast of Australia with some mates to camp in national parks and get ludicrously intoxicated. We brought with us a grog shop's worth of booze, bags of weed, and several handfuls of magic mushroom caps. Since I wasn't driving I decided to eat eight of the caps before we even left our border.
By the time we entered the national park and started setting up our campsite, the sun was already setting and I was already hallucinating, meaning I was a completely unhelpful but hilarious mess of a camper.
Cue grilling over the fire, drinking whiskey, and smoking gigantic doobs. At around midnight my normal bodily functions returned in earnest and we realised that we hadn't even looked for the restroom facilities before it got dark. So I grabbed a roll of toilet paper, turned on my headlamp, clutched a gigantic hunting knife between my teeth, and strolled a hundred or so metres toward the river.
Imagine a drug-crazed man with his pants around his ankles squatting on a river bank clutching a gigantic hunting knife between his teeth with the light from his headlamp darting around the darkness. Everywhere I pointed the light I would see rotten, decrepit zombies shambling out of the bush around the riverbank. Never have I defecated so quickly, all the while hyperventilating and freaking out about the hallucinatory undead coming to feast on my flesh.
After I got back to the campsite the night went as well as any drug-fuelled campout goes. Woke up the next morning, and stepped out of my tent to take a whiz only to find a public toilet block not fifty metres from our campsite. I have never laughed harder at myself than I did that morning. Crazy! Anyway, I have never drunk or used drugs while camping since then!" D
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PHANTOMS & MONSTERS VIDEO LIBRARY
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