"Sometimes I wake up in the early morning with the sense that 'they just left.' I won't be able to sleep for hours, and I will be very aware and afraid of doors and windows."
I recently received the following narrative:
"Hi, Lon. I watched one of your videos about alien abduction and decided to contact you. As a child, I had experiences of being abducted. I would lie awake in my bed all night in a state of hypervigilance, trying to observe the bedroom door, closet door, windows, and walls around me all at once, until I exhausted myself to sleep. I have various memories of the little Grey aliens grabbing me by the wrist to lead me around places outside of my bedroom (wherever they took me, nothing resembling a ship or anything, just a plan room), 'counting' my spine (they would run their fingers up each vertebra on my back and to my child's mind they were counting them), entering my room through the walls and so on. I'm terribly afraid of needles and I'm always worried that the nurse is going to touch the bone of my arm with the needle.
The small Greys are about as tall as toddlers, 3 feet classic Grey. Large heads, big insect eyes. Their torso and limbs are very slender and you have difficulty figuring out how they stand and walk upright carrying that large head. Their fingers are very long, and the long fingers and the eyes are the creepiest things about them. Being with them is like being in the same room as a very scary doll or mannequin, except they move around and are alive. They have a very disturbing vibe about them.
Their skin is grey and seems not to be flesh. It looks like it's made out of construction putty or something like that. They have no wrinkles and no musculature. Their skin doesn't wrinkle when they move, and you can't see muscles flexing or anything like that. They don't seem to have any personality or will, they are just like drones or something. I imagine that they probably stand in a closet when they are not working. But they still seem to be organic, they are not machines or robots. That skin and those eyes are their real skin and eyes, not a space suit or a helmet.
I also have memories of a 'big' Grey alien, perhaps 6 feet tall, who I would be brought to after the 'little guys' were done with me. She definitely had a personality and a sense of presence about her. Her skin seemed to have more features, she wasn't just putty like the little guys. I don't know how I thought she was female, but perhaps her features were more slender.
She would look into my eyes with her large eyes and she could see all of my thoughts. I could sense her in my head. She would say things to me, clearly in an attempt to get me to believe them or buy into them. I could recognize them as not being my thoughts, but she didn't seem to care. Trying to push against her will is like pushing a car in neutral when it's coming down an incline, the car pushes you instead.
Having her in my mind is a very disempowering experience, and I would almost liken it to assault, but I don't know what assault really is like, and I imagine it's way worse. But I am trying to give you an idea of what it's like. It's not cool or fun at all. Someone else is in your innermost sanctum, your own mind and thoughts, and you didn't invite them, you don't want them there, and they are just doing whatever the hell they want.
At various times, she told me (telepathically) "Don't make too much trash, or people will get sick" and "Stop cutting down so many trees."
So also told me "We're very grateful for your help", "You're a big help to us in our project", and "Don't tell other people about us, because they can't see us, and they will only get upset". She tried to make me feel positive about being there, but I wasn't having any of it. I only wanted them to take me back home. I had no idea where I was.
It's like when you're a kid, and a teacher tries to encourage you to do something you don't want to do, like sweeping the floor or picking up after yourself. "You did a great job sweeping! You're such a big help" You don't give a crap about helping the teacher, you just want to go and play or whatever. Well, I didn't care what the big one was saying. I just wanted to go home.
They've never told me any secrets of the universe, and I've never had any hybrid alien or non-Grey experience.
For what it's worth, I've had sleep paralysis experiences, and to me, these are different, just like a dream is different from a nightmare, and a nightmare is different from sleep paralysis.
I have a dream (or nightmare) about a physical presence that is hostile or angry and is restraining me or physically accosting me. I panic for a few moments, find that I can't move, and then I jerk myself awake. Once I'm awake, it fades away quickly, just like a nightmare becomes not-so-real when you wake up.
With alien abductions, I don't find myself knowing that they've happened. I just wake up feeling like complete crap, maybe several days in a row, and I might have daydreams about aliens or remembering scenes from alien abduction shows.
Sometimes I wake up in the early morning with the sense that "they just left." I won't be able to sleep for hours, and I will be very aware and afraid of doors and windows. I'm a grown man and when this happens I am not able to fall back to sleep for at least an hour.
As a kid, I remember finding an alien abduction book in the library, and it was like a door had been unlocked. My mom took us to McDonald's afterward, and I finished the book there. I couldn't put it down, and for the next three days, I was in shock. It was like confirmation that they were real, that other people did know about them, and that I was really never safe from them.
After that, as a teenager, I got my hands on all the alien abduction books and shows I could find. They scared the crap out of me but I had to keep reading them.
I have strong opinions about depictions of Grey aliens, and there are some I consider to be very accurate while others seem like a stylized interpretation by someone who has never seen them. Basically, the more 'realistic' or human they look, with facial features such as cheeks, septum, nose, wrinkles, or under-the-skin musculature, the less 'authentic' it seems to me. Also, the eyes may be completely insectoid, wrapping around the sides, not forward-facing or oval like a human's. I suppose a wasp or a mantis has the most alien-like eyes out of all the insects. There are certain cats I've seen that seem to have alien-shaped eyes.
In my 20s I started seeing a therapist and during some really intense sessions, I recalled the memories of the aliens, the specific memories I outlined. I don't believe the memories were blocked or anything; I just never dared ever to recall them, because the whole thing is so terrifying. I believe it's a form of PTSD. It really does interfere with your sleep and mood. After that session, I was shaking so badly the therapist wasn't going to release me to let me drive. She had to walk me through breathing exercises to get me to calm down.
If I were someone other than myself, I would be completely skeptical, and conclude that the alien abduction experience is just another type of sleep paralysis. Or that reading too many scary alien books will corrupt your mind. Or that is a 'cover' memory for abuse. (But why would you dream up aliens? They're as small as toddlers and frail-looking).
But having had the experiences I had, I just can't believe it. Even if they devise an experiment where they hook people up to machines and have brainwaves proving that certain types of sleep paralysis are the alien abduction phenomenon, I would still believe they were somehow real, because the experiences feel real, even after you wake up, not like a dream, nightmare, or sleep paralysis.
I don't believe that aliens are organic creatures that evolved on another planet and fly here in advanced ships. The physics of faster-than-light travel just doesn't work. The only 'explanation' I can come up with is that either they are creatures that can travel inter-dimensionally (perhaps they come from another dimension themselves) or they exist as independent entities in human consciousness. I know both of those are too crazy to really be explanations, but to me, those creatures are more than nightmares.
I know that on a logical level, this is some kind of nightmare or brain disturbance, but let me tell you, the people who suffer from this really do suffer. Some people made up a name for this: "Post Abduction Disorder." They aren't trying to say that abductions are real, but just trying to help people who suffer from this. Of course, it's not taken very seriously, and I understand why. But I do wish sufferers could talk more freely about it, without fear of ridicule or dismissal. Unless you've suffered an abduction, you have no idea.
This is the most I've ever told anyone about it. I am not interested in going to any groups or anything; my suspicion is that they are convinced there's a government coverup. I'm not interested in conspiracy theories. Thanks for reading." Y
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